Don't Disturb The Bear

After mas o menos 30 hours without power, it has returned and I have decided what better time than 2:30AM to update my blog.

For those of you who know me even a little know a few basic rules of what not to do. Unfortunately, due to cultural differences and language barriers, Honduras has not yet clued in to them.

Rule Numero Uno: Think of me as a bear...a bear in hibernation. You do not want to be on the receiving end as the person who wakes me up. Over the past couple of weeks I've been fighting a cold/allergy sinus infection. It finally caught up to me and I called into the health center in the morning to cancel a class I was giving that day. Having taken all the necessary steps of a sick day (i.e., I called into work to let them know I wasn't coming in instead of just not showing up), I took some nyquil and passed out. A few hours later I'm startled out of my sleep by some honking. Hmmm, weird. I recently moved into my new house and was exstatic to not be on any major roads. The only vehicles that pass in front of my house now are those of the four-legged kind. So, clearly this is a surprise to me. Then I hear a couple coworkers from the health center yelling my name. I groggily make my way to the window to discover yes indeed it is my coworkers yelling and honking at me in front of my gate. Still in my pajamas I hastily look for a jacket and shoes and trek outside where it's pouring rain. Still half asleep and very pissed off I go to the gate where my coworkers are happily sitting in their truck (i.e., not sick and standing in the rain in their pajamas) to find out what's the emergency. Yeah, they're just stopping by and want to come in - did I mention they brought my town's Cuban doctora with them. I am horrified. The last thing I want is for my coworkers to see me looking as horribly as I felt or see my somewhat disordely house. I politely, okay as politely as a bear woken out of hibernation, ask them to leave because I wasn't up for visitors. Really? As if that needs to be said. Well, now I'm left to clean up my mess of being the very rude and unhospitable gringa who turned away my coworkers who just stopped by to make sure I was okay. In their defense there are cases of hemorrhagic dengue going around the municipality and they were only looking out for my well-being. In my defense, DON'T DISTURB THE BEAR.

Rule Two: Men - stop being creepy. Married, single, fathers holding their infants in front of their wives/girlfriends, high school boys, elementary school boys, etc., stop trying to pick me up. And stop trying to pick me up in English. The words you are using but clearly have no clue what they mean are highly offensive and I will not stand for it. Just treat me with respect and I'm likely to stop and have a conversation with you.

Final Rule: Don't cut me in line. Hondurans really have no sense of waiting in lines and frequently try to cut. Bus lines, checkout lines at the grocery store, lines at the bank, etc. They love to cut. I didn't learn how to box out from one of the best defensive coaches in basketball, a.k.a. Bob from the Kansas Belles, for nothing. I will hip check you into tomorrow if you try that move on me. Not gonna have it any more!

And that's it. Pretty simple. Wow, this seems like an angry blog post. In reality, I'm not angry at all right now. This helped. Thank you and good day. I SAID good day.